by Steven Johnson, DO
“Pay attention to pauses – the pause between two thoughts, the short pause between the words in a conversation, between the notes of a piano or flute playing, the pause between inhaling and exhaling. When you pay attention to these pauses, awareness of “something” becomes simply awareness. The formless dimension of pure awareness rises within you and takes the place of identification with form.” – Eckhardt Tolle
How often do we stop to just “pause” and be in the moment? How often during the day do we really act out of self-awareness in any given moment versus old reaction patterns typical of our personality? How often do we pause thoughtfully and think about how we want to raise our child or communicate with a significant other? What do we give our power to? Read the following story and reflect for a few minutes:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
To “pause” is to self-reflect. It is stepping back and remembering who we truly are or want to be. Otherwise, we tend to spend most of our time reacting to the world. Learning to pause is the foundation for self-awareness and making the changes that reflect who we want to be. It is the first step in learning to “let go” of behaviors that set us back and cause conflict. Lastly, learning to pause is the first step in learning to observe the world objectively by stepping back and quietly being present to what is really in front of us.
How often do we think we know something simply because we can identify an object or person by a name? Do we actually stop and take an interest to learn something new or unique about a stone, tree, flower, animal, or a person? Does knowing the name “birch tree” mean we know what a birch tree is? How often do we miss opportunities to experience the true essence of something or someone?
How often have you looked closely at a Birch tree? Have you paused to observe the unique character of the shiny, light, and proteinaceous green leaves in the spring or the delicate nature of the bark? Some ancient cultures saw the Birch tree as an individual being representing youthful forces. The fresh green spring leaves are shining, moist, soft, yet flexible and strong. European herbalists and American Indians saw it as a medicine for stiff, hardening joints or helping the kidneys to detoxify. The peeling bark spoke the gesture of renewal. The name “birch tree” held a deeper meaning for them because they took the time to pause and learn about the essence of the tree. You could look at any tree in nature this way.
Do you choose to feed and nurture a deeper interest in the world, or are you satisfied with the superficial and intellectual understanding of just a name? Are you too busy to get to really know the world and people around you, or is there room to pause and see things in a deeper, more truthful way?
Intellectual knowledge about the natural world, which we learn in scientific books, only describes parts and pieces of something but fails to give us any insight into the “gemut” or true essence of a mineral, plant, animal, or human being, or even social “norms”. We only gradually come to know the true nature of things when we “pause” and learn to see between the lines. This brings wonder and meaning more deeply into our lives.
Ekhardt Tolle describes “pausing” as the beginning of revelation and wisdom. Describing things without knowing them more intimately leads to a dry, less truthful, and less fulfilling experience of life.
Life becomes more “profound’ when we pause and become aware in the moment, looking at things from diverse perspectives. Pausing is the foundation of learning to breathe and find balance. Often it is referred to as the “still point.” The moment before a change.
Breath is another word for “life” in several ancient languages. To “pause” is to be in life. New insights are gradually revealed to us, and we see things in many beautiful colors rather than black and white. These are moments where space is created for new perspectives, insights, and a more meaningful experience of life. We become more flexible and tolerant as we consider multiple perspectives and examine our reflexive emotional responses. You could say the scales fall away from our eyes, and we see the light! If you go further along the resilience pathway, you will also learn that “meaning” in life is a key foundation of learning to regulate and improve our health.
Often, it is in the quiet moments of “pausing” that an insight reveals itself to us like a flash of light. Usually, we are too busy to notice. As we get to know things more intimately, feelings of love and interest rise within us as a palpable, radiating warmth. If we are quiet within ourselves, we can sense warmth and cold in our heart region, which can teach us to recognize what is truthful or false. If we learn to develop our heart as a truth organ, the veil of prejudices, dysfunctional beliefs, fears, automatisms, and destructive patterns is lifted, revealing new insights about nature, people, and ourselves. According to the spiritual teacher Rudolf Steiner, the heart is an organ of truth in which we feel warmth when something is honest and truthful or cold when it is not. It is one of the first steps in spiritual development that we can experience when we train our perceptions. It is practical and needed today, isn’t it?
Every culture creates festivals, celebrations, and rituals to create moments of pause, reflection, and give space for appreciation and gratitude. These times are intended to pass on meaningful traditions and create pauses in our busy lives to appreciate friends, family, and build community. However, we often fall into traditions and behaviors that become stagnant and less fulfilling for everyone. Celebrations can become too institutionalized. Festivals, celebrations even rituals always need to be renewed so that new generations can find meaning and purpose in these moments. These moments are times to appreciate the past, appreciate a sacred moment, and also look with hope to the future with new insights and ideals.
For this to happen, people need to be respectful of the past and make the effort to understand and experience the traditions of their ancestors. Then we can pause inside and be honest with ourselves about whether we are worthy to add to these traditions or create new ones to carry us forward into a new emerging future.
Our heart wisdom becomes important here. Open-hearted conversation between all generations is needed, or apathy, resentment, cynicism, and judgments will set in. Having special pauses and festival celebrations during the year is an important form of “pause” for the resilience of our communities and culture. Otherwise, we don’t find meaning in our social discourse, and families, friends, and communities drift apart into uninspired isolation. On some levels, this is also true in our workplaces.
Pausing involves becoming aware of the moment, recognizing the destructive behavioral patterns we repeat in our lives, and creating more fruitful behaviors. When we learn to pause thoughtfully in our conversations and communication, the human encounter can become a new sacrament of renewal and change. Polarizations are less likely to form in our relationships.
How many times will we say to ourselves that we have to “let go” of destructive patterns and fixed beliefs? We can’t say it enough because it is an obvious truth and very difficult to do. Learning to be open again, like a child, to the wonders of possibility and new perspectives is a beautiful experience. Each time we can accomplish this in our soul, we take a step closer towards finding the “coherence” between our heart and mind. In this state, health research is clear that our whole organism tends towards homeostasis, balance, and health.
Think about a time when you have managed to change a difficult behavior. For instance, changing your diet, or meditating every morning for a month. A sense of “levity” is created simply because you had the “will” to make a change.
Ekhardt Tolle said, “When we pause, awareness becomes simply awareness.” Self-awareness is the first step to manifesting change!
Consider reviewing your day on a regular basis. Set times during the day when you check in to be sure you pay attention and practice “pausing.” Can you see opportunities in your day that this could have made a difference, reduced stress, and made an encounter more meaningful? Do this every day, and you will open a door to positive change. Learn in your moments of self-awareness to understand what is under your control and find the courage to change the attitudes and actions you have control over. Let go of the things you cannot change or need more time for. Create some new patterns of interaction with the world and new self-directed behaviors. Journaling your observations at the end of the day can be extremely helpful.
*This article on pausing is a modified chapter from Dr. Steven Johnson’s resilience course. FHC may offer this course in the future. If you are interested in this let us know.